You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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