Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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