that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
