90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
