he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm bleeding and have questions
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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