dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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