You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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