I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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