Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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