last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
