Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
