So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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