We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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