Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize