I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i can't believe i had my finger in that
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
