she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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