i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
