the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We got so high we made milksteak
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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