know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
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How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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