Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
