she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
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Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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