You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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