honey bunches of taint.
i will never coherently bang her
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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