maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
