i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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