living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
