It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
