Just cropdusted the office
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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