i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Randomize
