So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
