Where did you get a picture of my penis
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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