dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
