so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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