Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize