Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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