I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
