dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
