There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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