Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize