At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Randomize