It's Friday. Sex?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
