you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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