apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
where are my pants?
in the oven.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
