So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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