it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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