wat bout pragnant strippers??
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
And then he peed in my hair
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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