Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
