I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
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he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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