Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
