Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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