8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
