Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
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Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
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The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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