I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
