A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize