Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
