Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
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My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
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Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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