i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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